Comic Relief

My sister once asked me how I maintain so many friends. I am horrible at keeping in touch. I never write and I hate the phone. I'm a little better since texting became acceptable, but let's face it I wait for an invitation rather than throw the party.

Tonight I figured it out. In an attempt to get to bed early I stayed home from what I'm sure was a great Relief Society (church's women's organization) Activity. Once the kids were in bed and the house was mostly cleaned up I noticed that a container of flour that I had borrowed from my friend Angela was sitting on my counter. I was sure they were missing it, as I had borrowed it last Sunday, so I decided to jump in car and run it over and then I could go to sleep in peace. Of course I got to talking at the door, but I was determined to stay outside and leave the car running. My poor friend got eaten alive by mosquitoes, but it was all for a good cause, at least that was what I thought, until the car ran out of gas. With it being my first experience of having a car run out of gas I was surprised at how familiar the last sputters of my vehicle sounded. Poor Clara Bella didn't stand a chance against my riveting conversation.

Luckily for me Angela's sweet husband was home and willing to place our cow of a van into neutral and half drive, half coast it to the nearest gas station. I of course was invited in. The car and the husband both made it back without any pushing required, but I still managed to stay for another hour. When they finally had had enough I made my way out to discover I had a full tank of gas and that my vehicle had been driven completely down their driveway. Well, what's wrong with that you ask? I HAVE A FEAR OF BACKING UP!

That's right; I only go forward. It seems bad things happen when I go in reverse. Like I run off the side of my own driveway wedging my front tire into a drainage ditch, straddling the edge of the drive with the car's underbelly and making my driver's side rear tire fly into the air. (It took a new neighbor jumping on the back of my car's drive side while I drove his truck chained to mine, in order to pull it out.)( I know I couldn't believe he let me drive his truck either.)

So here I am in their drive and I have to back up. I can't ask her husband to come back out, but I do decide to give them a bit of a warning. She says not to worry, but stays out to watch (no doubt to make sure I don't destroy all their sprinkler heads). Well as you can expect, I backed out right over their lawn not once but twice and then got to laughing so hard I could barely see through the tears. Not to worry I made it home and didn't take out any pets on the way, though a few bugs may have gone the way of eternal rest.

So at this point I am thinking I am a lousy correspondant and I cost a ton to maintain, so why do I have friends? And then it dawns on me ... COMIC RELIEF.